Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Ho Ho..Oy Vey!

The holiday season is coming to an end and many of us are heading towards the common January 1st feeling. What feeling do I speak of? You know, the feeling that makes you say “Today I’m gonna start fresh!” or some variation of that. That feeling you get when you stand in front of your mirror and all the mistakes you made are staring right back at you. I’m not talking about the mistake of a costume you wore on Halloween. Nor is it the undercooked turkey everyone in your family ate at the risk of food poisoning because they didn’t want to hurt your feelings. It’s definitely not the crappy gift you got for your spouse.
It’s the food! All those glorious calories hidden beneath a façade of what appears to be pure deliciousness. Examples of common “mistakes” include –

  • ·      Holiday cheeses
  • ·      Gravy
  • ·      Turkey
  • ·      Ham
  • ·      Cupcakes
  • ·      Regular cakes
  • ·      Mini cakes
  • ·      Butter with Vegetables (not a mistake)
  • ·      Latkes
  • ·      Chocolate
  • ·      vodka, gin, tequila, whisky
  • ·      Sweets of all kinds
  • ·      Casseroles
  • ·      Mashed potatoes
  • ·      Honey
  • ·      Steak
  • ·      Stuffing

Don’t get me wrong; I love a hearty plate of stuffing, turkey, mashed potatoes, and gravy as much as the next guy, but something needs to be done because every year the same pattern repeats itself - 99% of the world’s population joins a gym and starts a diet on January 1st (Percentage is an approximation). Many of you ate too much, drank too much, and exercised too little. The guilt will set in at midnight like Cinderella turning into a 15-pound heavier version of herself.

It doesn’t need to be this way. Here are some tips and tricks to get ahead of the curve and start the year out healthy and right!

1)    Drink 8oz of water for every cocktail you have. Stay buzzed but keep hydrated. Water helps burn fat and keep you satisfied.
2)    Meat served last on your plate. Stock up on veggies and grains first, then meat.
3)    Exercise on Dec 24th and December 31st.  Boost your metabolism as a preemptive strike against holiday foods.
4)    Less salt on everything. Holiday dishes are already notorious for high sodium levels.  
5)    Remember salads exist.  Cold weather does not equal a lack of veggies at the supermarket.
6)    Exercise before the family gets up in the morning. Once aunt Becky, your dad, sister, & dog get up, your chances of working out decrease by 38% (Percentage is an approximation).
7)    December is Vitamin C month.  Keep your immune system strong with carrots, guava, oranges, strawberries, and brusells sprouts.
8)    Measure your gut.  Get measuring tape and line it up with your navel. Take note of that waist size. Knowing is half the battle.
9)    Watch sports. Oddly enough, people are more motivated to work out if they watch sports of some kind.
10)  Lastly, please don’t eat canned cranberry sauce. It should be a crime around the world that this gelatin-like substance calls itself food.

That’s all you need to do to beat those winter woes. Ten easy steps that will save your waistline but keep the holidays merry, jolly, meshugganah, or whatever you like to call it. So, go ahead and drunk text your ex and instagram way too many photos of yourself in santa hats – those are easier to forget about than those extra pounds on your belly. 

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